tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72511249732583237542023-06-20T05:19:57.312-07:00Priestess SpiritHexeengelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15403229769483847858noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251124973258323754.post-27637603039809625002010-07-02T15:02:00.000-07:002010-07-02T15:02:46.171-07:00A Plea to BlodeuweddLyrics as prayer, "All I Need" by Within Temptation...<br />
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I'm dying to catch my breath<br />
Oh why don't I ever learn?<br />
I've lost all my trust though I've surely tried <br />
To turn it around<br />
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Can You still see the heart of me?<br />
All my agony fades away<br />
When You hold me in Your embrace<br />
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Don't tear me down<br />
For all I need<br />
Make my heart a better place<br />
Give me something I can believe<br />
Don't tear me down<br />
You've opened the door now<br />
Don't let it close<br />
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I'm here on the edge again<br />
I wish I could let it go<br />
I know that I'm only one step away<br />
From turning around<br />
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Can You still see the heart of me?<br />
All my agony fades away<br />
When You hold me in your embrace<br />
<br />
Don't tear me down<br />
For all I need<br />
Make my heart a better place<br />
Give me something I can believe<br />
Don't tear it down<br />
What's left of me<br />
Make my heart a better place<br />
<br />
I've tried many times but nothing was real<br />
Make it fade away<br />
Don't tear me down<br />
I want to believe that this is for real<br />
Save me from my fear<br />
Don't tear me down<br />
<br />
Don't tear me down<br />
For all I need<br />
Make my heart a better place<br />
<br />
Don't tear me down<br />
For all I need<br />
Make my heart a better place<br />
Give me something I can believe<br />
Don't tear it down<br />
What's left of me<br />
Make my heart a better place<br />
Make my heart a better place<br />
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Lady of Sovereignty, Initiation and Destiny, I want to follow the path You've shown me. But I am afraid. I'm afraid he won't accept it, or he'll consent and then grow to regret it and resent me. Please, show me the way to reach him, past his mind and into his heart and soul. He is a shaman, Lady, one who is still struggling, still discovering. I think he's afraid too, that I'll leave him behind. Help me show him that's not the case. Help us both please, Lady.<br />
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Blessed Be.Hexeengelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15403229769483847858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251124973258323754.post-83618902689814645252010-06-01T08:32:00.000-07:002010-06-01T08:32:11.859-07:00Serious BlunderI didn't do a ritual or meditation or anything for the last Full Moon. I could list the reasons, too hot, not feeling it, etc., but none of that excuses it.<br />
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On the plus side though, I feel like I'm gaining more of a connection to the Earth/Earth element, one that's really been lacking in my life up till now. I discovered last year that I enjoy camping an awful lot, and this year that I love the local farmer's market - and the produce moreso than the crafts, which is not what I would expect.Hexeengelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15403229769483847858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251124973258323754.post-74392132357527916042010-04-29T22:12:00.000-07:002010-04-29T22:17:34.579-07:00Ritual ReportI performed a solitary ritual tonight. (Click the entry's title to read the report.)<br />
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Before I even set anything up, I did something I’ve never done before; I used my handmade homemade besom! I swept around the room, concentrating on clearing the space, then <a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/eastbefore.jpg">laid it across the East side</a> (click), as a barrier while I set up the altar. After I was in the space and beginning the ritual, I <a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/eastafter.jpg">stood it up and leaned it against the near-by door frame</a> (click).<br />
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In the shower before ritual, I was driven to sing chants, and they energized me:<br />
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~ Under the Full Moonlight (3x)<br />
~ We All Come From the Goddess (3x)<br />
~ Listen to the Lord and Lady (3x)<br />
~ Goddess Chant (9x)<br />
~ Mothers and Fathers of Old (3x)<br />
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Normally I find going through all the motions (not in that way) of building the Circle to be... not boring, but... lackluster, I guess. But this time I really felt as though the Guardians of the Watchtowers were there. I think a recent addition I made, placing representatives of the Elements instead of only having the candles, played a factor here (pictures below).<br />
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For the actual Full Moon rite, I concocted a “Moongazing” ritual. I have clear glass tealight holders, and I turned one of them upside down and put the tea light underneath, making it somewhat like the Moon. I spoke my personal Full Moon invocation to the Goddess, made a brief statement of purpose, then closed my eyes and performed my “Four Square Breath” (inhale four heartbeats, hold four, exhale four, hold four. Repeat three more times). I opened my eyes and gazed at the “Moon.”<br />
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My eyes unfocused and I heard Blodeuwedd’s voice, “You have left the path.”<br />
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“No I haven’t!” I protested.<br />
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“Yes, you have.” I could tell further denials would only upset Her more.<br />
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“I’m trying to get back on it, that’s what tonight is about.”<br />
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“Continue to follow it. Seek it out. Speak to him.” She meant my husband. (background: I am seeking Traditional Gardnerian initiation, but my husband is not entirely comfortable with the idea.)<br />
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‘I’m frightened,” I said, knowing She’d heard it all before. Then I noticed that the other Gods I have personal contact with were there. I asked each of Them in turn for Their help.<br />
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“Aslan, lend me your strength. An Mhor Rioghain, your courage. Blodeuwedd, your sovereignty. Lugh, your wisdom.” (Note: No, I don’t “worship” Aslan. He is a manifestation of the Sun God, which is now interesting considering Lugh is here too. Something I have to ponder.)<br />
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Aslan was the one to reply at first, “All these things shall be yours.”<br />
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“But only if you continue on as you are tonight,” Blodeuwedd added. I was summarily dismissed at that point, but it didn’t come as a rejection, more like a “go out into the big wide world” kind of encouragement. I thanked them (well, I admit, Blodeuwedd mostly), performed the Cakes and Wine rite (English muffins and white wine, good stuff), and closed the Circle.<br />
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Now, pictures (click to make them bigger)!!<br />
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<center><a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/?action=view¤t=altar.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/th_altar.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" ></a><br />
Altar overview.<br />
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<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/?action=view¤t=goddess.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/th_goddess.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" ></a><br />
Goddess side detail.<br />
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<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/?action=view¤t=god.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/th_god.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" ></a><br />
God side detail.<br />
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<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/?action=view¤t=center.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/th_center.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" ></a><br />
Center detail.<br />
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<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/?action=view¤t=top.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/th_top.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" ></a><br />
"Top" detail.<br />
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<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/?action=view¤t=air.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/th_air.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" ></a><br />
Air - feathers in an etched glass bowl.<br />
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<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/?action=view¤t=fire.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/th_fire.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" ></a><br />
Fire - tea light in a lantern.<br />
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<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/?action=view¤t=water.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/th_water.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" ></a><br />
Water - water in a blue glass dish.<br />
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<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/?action=view¤t=earth.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/th_earth.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" ></a><br />
Earth - marble sphere.<br />
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<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/?action=view¤t=litup.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/gypsy_meryre/altar/th_litup.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" ></a><br />
Obligatory candlelit shot. I SWEAR the flash was turned off!! Also, I moved the Quarter candles onto the altar to give as much light as possible.</center>Hexeengelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15403229769483847858noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251124973258323754.post-79964015395694875162010-04-27T13:19:00.001-07:002010-04-27T13:21:13.156-07:00Spring and FallI did some thinking last night at work about the Spring and Fall seasons...<br />
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Imbolc - fertility as ideas/creativity<br />
Spring - fertility as growth/momentum<br />
Beltane - fertility as physical/sex/conception<br />
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Lammas - harvest as bounty/reward for hard work<br />
Fall - harvest as consequences/emphasizing relationship between what is reaped from what was sown<br />
Samhain - harvest as death/endingsHexeengelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15403229769483847858noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251124973258323754.post-71670932919146746932010-04-22T06:31:00.000-07:002010-04-22T06:36:31.734-07:00Death of Llew ArticleYesterday I read a fascinating article called "<a href="http://www.witchessabbats.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=11&Itemid=20">The Death of Llew</a>" by Mike Nichols (of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Witches-Sabbats-Mike-Nichols/dp/0971005028/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1271942400&sr=8-2">The Witches' Sabbats</a> fame), and it postulated an interesting theory:<br />
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<blockquote>So if births are associated with the solstices, when do the symbolic deaths occur? [...] When does darkness conquer light or light conquer darkness? Obviously (to me, at least), it must be at the two equinoxes. At the autumnal equinox, the hours of light in the day are eclipsed by the hours of darkness. At the vernal equinox, the process is reversed. Also, the autumnal equinox, called “Harvest Home”, is already associated with sacrifice, principally that of the spirit of grain or vegetation. In this case, the God of Light would be identical.<br />
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[...]<br />
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So Midsummer (to me, at least) is a celebration of the Sun God at his zenith, a crowned king on his throne. He is at the height of his power and still one quarter of a year away from his ritual death at the hands of his rival. However, at the very moment of his greatest strength, his dark twin, the seed of his destruction, is born—just as the days begin to shorten.</blockquote><br />
This made much sense to me, and while it may not be strictly Traditional when it comes to Wicca's understanding of the Wheel, it is a theory I plan to ponder in enriching my own personal practice.Hexeengelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15403229769483847858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251124973258323754.post-71116991983106498642010-04-16T07:50:00.000-07:002010-04-16T07:50:15.012-07:0050/50 SabbatsContinuing with the personal mythology exploration, here are those Sabbats that I'm semi-comfortable with.<br />
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Eostar - "Spring cleaning." "Out with the old, in with the new." Balance leading to upward momentum. Day begins to conquer night. <br />
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Lammas - First harvest. Grains. God begins His descent. Bread blessing. Bounty of harvest. First day of Autumn.<br />
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Fall Equinox - Second harvest festival. More somber. Time of reflection. Balance leading to downward spiral. More sacrifice. Preparing for Winter. Night begins to conquer day.<br />
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I realized that, of these first two harvest festivals, Lammas is still holding onto the joy and revelry of Summer, while the Equinox is beginning to recognize the diligence and hardship of Winter. This is a transitional time. I'm betting/thinking/hoping a certain realization will come to me in reference to Imbolc and Eostar.<br />
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And for some reason, I want to come up with different names for the Equinoxes. I like Autumnus (aw-TUM-nuhs) for the Fall Equinox, and I was considering Vernalia (ver-NAY-lee-ah) for the Spring, but I'm not set on the latter. Any thoughts, on any of this?Hexeengelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15403229769483847858noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251124973258323754.post-65762043345984686202010-04-15T07:26:00.000-07:002010-04-15T07:28:02.555-07:00Personal MythologyI think the first thing I need to figure out is my personal mythology of the Sabbats. Some of them are easy/non-issues, like Beltane, Samhain, and Yule. Ones I tend to struggle with are Imbolc and Midsummer. The two Equinoxes and Lammas are about 50/50 right now. I'll post briefly now about those Sabbats I feel most comfortable with, just some free association...<br />
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Beltane - Union of the God and Goddess. Beginning of Summer. Veil is thin, more Faerie activity. Sex. Last fertility festival. Maypole, dancing. (I have a bit of personal narrative written already, so this is good.)<br />
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Samhain - Veil thin again, time of spirits. Wild Hunt. Horned God. Beginning of Winter. Divination. Remembering the dead. Grief and mourning, while knowing Death is not the end. Last harvest festival.<br />
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Yule - Sun Child reborn of the Earth Mother, light returns. Midwinter. Rejoice and celebration. Longest night. (I have a children's story written that I could upgrade to a more adult version, also good.)Hexeengelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15403229769483847858noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251124973258323754.post-49949912719027611732010-04-14T23:25:00.001-07:002010-04-14T23:25:44.587-07:00PurposeFor a long time I've been absolutely horrible about performing rituals, especially by myself. I want to remedy that. Here I will chronicle my ideas and progress.Hexeengelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15403229769483847858noreply@blogger.com0